Family is one place where LOVE never ends,
Having somewhere to go is a home, someone to love is family, and having both is a blessing. Does it come along with significant pressure? YES, and Does it mean a lot of Responsibilities? OH YES! But does it take away from the pleasures? NOT at all!
Good things were never meant to be easy; else, they wouldn’t have been so highly rewarded. A good spouse, a good parent, a good child, many responsibilities, when shouldered at the same time, may prove to be overwhelming, but never lamenting. One does seem to sacrifice much to be a good family man. But more than sacrifice, it is laying your priorities. It is the innate need to put your family’s welfare and trust over and above anything else. And believe me, that one can never regret it. The love, care, respect, and ownership only gets better of You while improving the relationship mechanics. All I have is to share how… Dhananjai shaped up as the HUMAN he is.
Behind every child who BELIEVES IN HIMSELF is a parent who believed in them FIRST.
Secret Mantra
TIME and LOVE
As a parent, one dons many hats. Parenting doesn’t restrict itself to financial support to your children. Children, and most importantly, your spouse, need YOU more than anything else. Your time is of utmost essence to them. Not only does it allow you to form a stronger bond, but it also helps you build happy memories. For it is rightly said, ‘to be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.’ The greatest gift to any child would be to love their mother. Not only do they feel secure in that warm haven of a home that you have created, but they will also be confident in creating such havens of their own. While lending a hand to your wife in the kitchen solidifies not one but many bonds. They will never judge you for your help or lack of it thereof; au contraire, she will cherish the time and your company.
Expert Advice No. 1 – Learn to cook their favourite dish, or better still, become a pâtissier extraordinaire – and whip up DESSERTS every time.
Caress Comfort Connect
I have always known that there is no parenting manual, and there is no perfect parent – only the real ones. The reason I know is that I had the most real ones. Growing up, my parents became my inner voice. The way they talked with me, my mother’s hugs that seemed to be the only place to be after a gruelling grind (oh, weren’t they so many while growing up). Walks with my father were the university degrees in themselves. Courage and strength, morals and virtues, life, parenting were some of them, to name a few.
Many people fail at having a great family. Not that they did not have one; it is just they do not know how to make one. And the reason is communication or its lack thereof. Communication is an essential tool that lets us recognise the touches of love, moments of affection, engulfing worries, or our family’s melancholic sadness. The most important thing that you can communicate to a child is that everything will be OK even in the face of adversity. That mistakes are fixable, and there’s nothing that could push them away or make you love them any less.
Encourage your children and spouse to engage in an open conversation, giving them space that lets them talk to you freely, without any apprehension of being judged or held accountable. Let them come to you freely hug them, hold them, pat them on the head, cuddle them, after all they are your kingdom, and you- no not a king, but the Guardian of their realm.
Expert Advice No. 2 – Nothing works better than a weekly head massage. Show some love and get your hands where they should be – at your children’s heads. Spouse won’t mind either.
Setting Priorities –
Family over work any day!
The saddest part of our lives is, that we spend it chasing what is urgent and not on what is important. We were never taught in any school that 'in business, what cannot be done today, can still be done tomorrow. But with family, what doesn't get done today cannot be done ever.' And I was taught this very early on, in my life.
I learnt more from my parents than all my studies combined. And as I introspect, I know that children learn more from what you are than what you teach. And My parents, led by the superlative examples. However much busy one can be, that can never be an excuse to neglect the most important people of your life.
When your family is your main priority, everything falls in line. Do not ever make the mistake to confuse having a career with having a life. You cannot hanker after your desires keeping your family behind. Once you learn to put the happiness of your spouse and children before your own, that would be the day when you can kiss your worries goodbye. For your family is your strength and their love your fuel.
Expert Advice No. 3 – Get old fashioned and leave at 6 pm. Be home in the evenings, and enjoy gadget free evening. Old school board games and playing cards, will add the required magic.
Love, Care and REPEAT
Your words as a parent, are the magical elixirs. They breathe life into the strength and shape characters. So use them wisely. The secret lies in praising your children. They will rise in all manners unfathomable for they will never let any stone unturned to earn it. Don’t be stingy with your love reserves. Let the currency rolling. Believe me that more than being vociferous, it pays to show through your actions. Make regular doctor appointments, do not miss any PTMs, put your children through professional counselling. Yes, sometimes they need more than just a parent as a soundboard – generation gaps do exist. Let your family know that how proud you are of them and their achievements.
Expert Advice No. 4 – Stop RUSHING. Everything has its own PACE; do your due diligence. Set up your dental appointments together- it is so fun to binge on ice cream after that.
Nothing beats saying
'I love you, WOMAN'
God knows that he made man and woman differently. The strength of the character or emotions that a woman has is beyond measure. Even then, we treat them as weak. When you start taking your partner as equals, it would be the day of your CATHARTIC release. The two genders are like two jigsaw pieces that fit snug and well, smoothening the jagged edges and making one big WHOLE.
When we understand that our partner is necessarily shouldering the same responsibilities and shares the same priorities, maybe the way could be different, respect comes naturally—reiterating, a fact – The greatest gift for children is to love their MOTHER. There is no perfect family, but only a REAL one.
There would be highs and lows, the tempers would also flare, but then they need to COOL down. Let us admit there would be. It’s not about not fighting, it’s about making up after that fight. The truth of the matter is that we need to understand that one doesn’t have to be wrong for other to be right. Both can be equally right and be true to their perspectives. And with this dawns such clarity in views. Your love, care, and respect are bound to woo her, and a weekly date night would sweep her off her feet. Share a hobby, and take her to the places she wants to visit.
Expert Advice No. 5 – Take her dancing, be it slow waltz or spirited Lindy Hop. It will definitely set the pace and momentum right.
Character is the only.
MILESTONE
It's a family and environment that shape a child's character. When you decided to be a parent, that day, you signed the eternal decree of bringing into the world a soul from heaven. And you were ready to shoulder the responsibility. There are so many rules but then learn to say 'YES' more than 'NO'. Let your child know the wrongs from the rights, and like everything else, lead them by example. After all, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. They come into this world as clean slate. Teach them to come clean and be truthful, come what may. And assure them that they have you as a cushion, even if they falter. But in the wake of the above statement, let them know that you will help them do penance but not cover their mistakes and sweep them under the rugs. There ought to be checks and balances and just hold the scale always in an upright position.
Expert Advice No. 6 – Do not control your children; rather, provide a controlled environment. Let them make their own decisions, but keep the environment sterile so that they do not pick up any vices, even by mistake.
Keep the purse strings TIED
Every family has its own economic mechanics. Set your own and stick to them. Let your family know the limits and make the best from thm. Make a family budget and make it unique to your own needs and interests. Never make the mistake of aping others lifestyle. Let your family as a unit decide and limit the expenses. Life is indeed bountiful, just learn to say your graces.
Expert Advice No. 7 – Merit System- Let your children earn their pocket money. Money earned is difficult to be spent.
Nothing over FAMILY
Behind every child who believes in himself is a parent who believed in them first.
Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind every successful woman is a family that anchors her.
Build your own support system in your family. For only when you are grounded firmly, your kite soars the highest. Tough times or no, good times or bad, stick with your family, like thick and thin. When you have each other, only then you have the world at your feet.
Expert Advice No. 8 – Preach in private, Praise in public. Only step out with a united front. No one should be privy to your storms. Brave them out as a family together.
Family that vacations together, STAYS TOGETHER:
NO BRAINER! Just let the good times roll. Have fun, enjoy each other, understand, communicate and be with each other.
Expert Advice No. 9– WHERE – Hardly matters, till the time you are together. But don’t skip them ever.
